She started talking about discontinuing swinging. Over the subsequent weeks Fiona’s behaviour changed and she started becoming frustrated with David and unusually quick to anger. The rules they had established prescribed that they would not proceed unless they were both interested but David convinced Fiona to go ahead, as he put it, ‘take one for the team’, which she did. Having gone well for many years, on the most recent trip David had been attracted to the wife of a new couple whilst Fiona was not attracted to the husband. Having been part of the swinging lifestyle for many years, they had refined their selection of couples and both considered meeting other couples as fun, often on interstate trips to be part of the success of their marriage. Fiona is Pharmacist David runs his own successful marketing business. Happily married for 15 years, both are confident, secure professionals. Breaches of Trustĭavid and Fiona sought Marriage Counselling some time ago. I will eloborate more on this in another article. Splitting is a psychological term to describe a coping mechanism usually developed from childhood. One of the reasons is when a person or couple can split off parts of themselves to then share with others. There are deeper seeded reasons and contributing factors of how and why a partner or couple chose to share sex and intimacy with others where sexual intimacy with one partner or each other does not seem adequate. Many consider it an antidote to cheating. Couples also report a mismatch in libido and sexual problems as reasons they participate in swinging. Others see swinging as a way to act out sexual fantasies that don’t fit neatly within their existing relationship, whilst others still feel that the shared secret brings them closer. In fact, some report that the hunt is better than the sexual experience that follows. Couples tell of the thrill in seeking out other couples or ‘picking up’ an individual for a ménage à trois. The most commonly reported reason couples choose to swing is to ‘spice up’ their relationship, although other relationships are negotiated including swinging from the outset.
Robert wanted to see his wife Clarissa experience MFM (a male, female, male threesome).
#Swing life styles full#
Of course, in the examples I mention below, all names and identifiers have been changed to protect the confidentiality of my clients.įor example, one couple I saw recently, Gemma and Mark, had agreed that they would only have same room sex with others, which they believed made the activity safer, whereas Chrissy and Theo had softer rules and had decided on full swap sex but with the agreement that there would be no contacting of the other couples unless it was done together. Some of these rules might include sticking to same room sex (self-explanatory) to maintain trust and a sense of shared experience or allowing full swap sex, which would involve pairing off. Couples negotiate soft rules which set the basic expectations with hard rules being the non-negotiables. The swinging lifestyle has a list of standard term, which can be helpful in keeping open channels of communication with their regular partners and in setting up liaisons with other couples. When it works, these couples still enjoy intimacy and a close connection with their partners Terminology In other words, it is as an addition to their relationship rather than an alternative. Whilst happy with their partner-relationship, they seek sex with others for variety and novelty. Sex, rather than being just an expression of intimate love with their partners, is also a recreational activity. Most couples who engage in swinging are otherwise ordinary people, who have made the choice to keep love and sex at least partly separate. Although sometimes applied to the general practice of non-monogamous sexual activities within relationships, for most people swinging applies particularly to couples exchanging of sexual partners as a social activity. As a Relationship Counsellor, I have seen an increase in the number of couples and individuals who engage in swinging as part of their lifestyle.
0 kommentar(er)
